I know this blog is about the house....

...but I couldn't really help but talk about the issue of Prop 8 today, and I hope I do not offend anyone about this issue. I've had a lot of talks with people, most notably my cousin Jackie, that I thought were really constructive and respectful. I think it's really important to respect both sides of the fence, no matter how much you may disagree with someone else's opinion. There is no way that any problem in life will get resolved if people yell and scream at each other.

Today, my step dad Clarke showed me a letter to the editor he wrote that made it in the Chronicle yesterday (he's the first one). I thought it was a great letter and was really proud of him. It's hard not to be severe with feelings, and so although Clarke's letter may be strong and hurt some people's feelings, I respect how heartfelt he was, and agree with a lot of what he says.

Tonight I'm going to my friend Jen's wedding to her wife Brenda (they were already married privately and are now having a ceremony/celebration with friends and family). I got to know Jen at Mills (we were both in the art program together) and think that she is a wonderful person. She was always there to listen to me all the times I was frustrated and was always so positive and upbeat. I can't imagine what it would be like for someone to tell me I couldn't get married or that if I did get married it was somehow not as valid as someone else's.

What should define marriage is how much you love someone and how much you are devoted and committed to maintaining a loving and healthy relationship. There are hundreds of thousands of heterosexual couples who cheat on their spouses, abuse their spouses (both physically and emotionally), lie to their spouses, and countless other misdeeds. To me, if we should question anything, those are the marriages we should address.

The bottom line though is that whether or not someone is gay, it doesn't have any effect on any other person. So whether you believe in their lifestyle or not shouldn't really be an issue, because their life doesn't impede on yours. If you believe that it's a sin or anything else, it isn't a decision/rule/feeling you should be imposing on other people.

I wish Jen and Brenda all the happiness they could possibly hope for, and in my heart I believe their marriage to be just as equal to everyone else's, because really, I thought our country already ruled that "separate but equal" wasn't really equal.

1 comment:

Steph said...

Meryl, thank you for your words of support and how nicely put they were! As you know, here in Washington Ruth and I do not have the option of marriage and even though we've been emotionally committed, and financially responsible for one another for 18 years, must spend several thousands of dollars every few years to secure a fraction of the legal protections afforded others who may not be involved in relationship that have or require as much loyalty as ours. Good wishes to Jen and Brenda!