12.14.2012

Cashew is a...

GIRL! That is right, the little human growing in my belly will add some more lady mix to the house!

I will be completely honest: when we first found out that little Cashew was a girl I was totally, utterly terrified. I had hoped it would be a boy. You see, I grew up playing sports with my brother, helping my dad fix things around the house, and annoying my step mom that I would not wear the matching outfits she had picked for me (my brother's hand me downs were much more enticing, or that striped skirt with the floral leggings, the polka dot turtleneck and the cowboy boots. All together. At once. Seriously. I wish I had a picture on hand to show you the madness). In my head, I was so scared that I would have a girl that loved pink, wanted to be a cheerleader, loved ballet, thought baseball was the stupidest thing and would never want to build anything with me and her dad. And that she would hate me because we had nothing in common and I wouldn't know how to relate to her. I sent Chris a couple emails after the appointment that day (we actually found out at my genetic testing appointment at 12 weeks and Chris couldn't make that one). I didn't want to project all my issues on her. Oh my god I didn't want to ruin our daughter. What if she hates me?!

At the 17 week appointment on Tuesday (that Chris and I were both at) the OBGYN confirmed the news. I was still so scared. In all honesty, I almost cried. I was just terrified that I would have a daughter that hated me and that I would somehow ruin her with all my own weird girl issues. Chris was so sweet and understanding and just gave me lots of hugs and encouraged me. It's just one of the reasons he is so great: he understands me.

And then, the more we shared the news, the more wonderful it was to hear all of our family and friends be so excited. And I realized: I have friends and family who are some down right fucking awesome chicks. And as much as I think boys might be "easier," to me, there is honestly nothing cooler than a girl who is intelligent, assertive, adventurous, beautiful, courageous, and strong. And as I think about that I get teary eyed because I can't wait to have a daughter that is that cool. She will be awesome. Me and her dad will love her so much and love everything that she wants to be. And if she wants to be a ballerina, well, I'll learn what the hell an arabesque is (and I just googled "ballet terms" to show you how little I know).

So there it is. A little Miss Cashew growing in my belly :)


I love you little Cashew! :)

14 comments:

Brandy Escott said...

You are going to be an amazing mom, Meryl. You said it all in your last few sentences....you are willing to embrace whoever this little woman becomes! You are ahead of the game already with that attitude! Yeah for girls!!!!!

Heather said...

Little girls tend to want to be like mom, so yours will be rad. You're going to be a great mom and you'll raise a kick-ass daughter. I'm excited for you!

Katy said...

I'm gonna go ahead and blame the also-growing-a-girl-in-my-uterus hormones for the fact that your last paragraph totally made me cry in my office. Sniffle.

meryl rose said...

Thanks ladies :) :) :) :) :)

Katy: hopefully Cletus and Cashew (and Nikki's baby girl bun in the oven and Franca too of course) can all be friends some day! Awesome girls unite! :)

Deb said...

As the mom of two girls I an tell you that girls are challenging, frustrating and amazingly awesome all rolled up into one. I always thought I would have boys and ended up with a Diva and a tomboy ;) You'll love being the mom of a girl!

Jessica said...

I guessed right! Congrats! We had our first (and only) girl in February, so I've had a lot of the "uh oh, someday I'll have a teenage girl" dread. But she's completely awesome, too, so I think we'll be OK.

meryl rose said...

Thanks Deb and Jessica! And congrats on your recent mommy-hood Jessica :)

kit @ DIYdiva said...

You are going to be a fantastic mama to that little girl. World needs more raised by people with your attitude... she is going to kick some serious ass!

meryl rose said...

Thanks Kit :) Each day I'm getting more and more excited. She's going to be a little bad ass :)

JACKIE LARSON said...

EXCITING! She'll grow up to be a good mix of girly girl and tomboy I'm sure! Congrats! Happy for you both.

Bunny @ 86n It said...

Huh, Facebook ate my comment on this post!

I swear I could have written this. I too was secretly hoping for a boy. A girl comes with such responsibility for a mom I think. It seemed like such a heavy burden to bear.

Honestly though, more girls need to be raised by moms like you. Fearless. Driven. Passionate.

She is going to be awesome!

meryl rose said...

Spot on Nikki. I feel a super big responsibility. But Franca is so awesome, so I'll continue to believe you that Cashew will be awesome too :)

em said...

Awesome belly Meryl! And I am SO THRILLED for you. Girls are awesome and yours will be too. And I think that Jane borrowed your childhood outfit of polka dots/stripes pants/shirt/skirt... that kid is crazy. And yours will be too and it will be hilarious.

Hello from Madison :)

meryl rose said...

If she is ANYTHING like Jane, I'll be a happy camper :)

Can't wait till you guys get home so we can visit!