5.17.2013

4 Years. 4 Days

Tomorrow marks 4 years ago that I started Picardy Project. It also marks exactly 4 days till little Cashew's due date. So here are 4 thoughts about each.

4 Year Blogging Anniversary:

1. I was so bad about blogging in the beginning

I've always liked blogging a lot so there was always a pretty high frequency of posts, but my blog posts were ALL OVER THE PLACE. One sentence was this project, then another sentence another project, the pictures were tiny, I had no idea what was going on...it was pretty funny. It's interesting to have the blog start so soon after we moved in (4 1/2 months) because it tracks SO MUCH of the work we've done. There aren't many projects that aren't documented. It's just a matter of how well they were documented...

2. I love my blogging friends


(I stole this photo from the awesome Sara of Russet St. Reno from here)

Is it creepy to have internet friends? I never would have thought when I started blogging that I would make friends with people on the internet. And then get to visit them. And continue to write emails and texts back and forth and like them a whole bunch. And love when people comment and continue to comment and then look forward to their comments. It's totally weird to feel like I know people I have never met, and really like them. Does that make me a complete creeper?

3. It is cool when blogging gives you treats


I'm not going to lie, we've gotten to do some pretty awesome things because of blogging. We got to go on the Renovation Roadtrip and Chris and I are FOREVER thankful for that experience because it was just flat out fucking awesome. We got to participate in the recent USC documentary/research study about blogs, we've been nominated for blogging awards, Bobvila.com called us a Blog Star, it's been pretty cool. Chris and I don't actively seek any of these things out and we wouldn't want to participate in anything we didn't feel strongly about, but when a cool opportunity pops up, it's fun to get to take part. I would never want to advertise for or work with a company or group whose products I wouldn't actively seek out to use or try myself, so we really try to stick by that rule. Blogging actually takes up a lot of time, so sometimes getting a little treat makes you feel special and it's a nice little reward :)

4. I wonder what I'll blog about when housework is done

We never thought that this would be our forever house, so I'm pretty sure Chris and I will renovate again, but  I'm sure at some point life will get crazy and busy and I might not have time to blog. And what about when there actually are no more house projects left to work on??? What will I bore you guys with???? That makes me sad...

4 Days till Due Date:

1. Holy shit I'm going to be a parent

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I know this is completely obvious, but it's still very strange to wrap my head around. Chris and I talked about having a kid for a while, so it was a really thought out decision and we were fully aware of what was going to happen, but it's crazy that the time is just about here. In days or hours I could go into labor, and as a controlling person, that's pretty wacky. I thought I would be really neurotic about being pregnant: worrying about everything, reading everything and doing entirely too much time wondering, dissecting  researching, etc., but I have surprisingly just been like, "Whatever body, do your thing." But now, the reality that I have no idea when I could go into labor terrifies me. I just don't want to while at work at the A's this weekend (my last games are tonight, tomorrow and Sunday). It would certainly make for a funny story, but I don't really want to have my water break in the press box...

2. Moms and Dads


I have been very bothered by the whole idea of moms roles vs. dads roles during this whole pregnancy thing. In our birth class it was all about mom, mom, mom. I mean, I know I'm the one physically pushing the baby out of my body, but I found it so annoying that so much importance was placed on mom's role, and for dad it was just sorta like, ohhh, whatever. I feel like it already sets up this crappy expectation of moms being the "primary" parent and dads being the "secondary" parent. And I really don't like that. I was lucky to have an incredibly involved dad and step dad in my life and people always tell me how "lucky" I was because of that. I think that's a little shameful. Not to take anything away from my awesome dads (because they are awesome), but it bothers me that awesome dads are a treat, and awesome moms are just sort of expected. If your dad is your coach, takes you to school, makes your lunch, helps you with your homework, makes dinner or actually pays attention to you, he's a rockstar. Whereas mom is just expected to do those things. And if she doesn't, people wonder what's wrong with her. Chris and I have talked at length about co-parenting and the importance to us of each of us being equal parents, equally involved, equally responsible. Certainly there will be some things that one of us is better at, one of us has more time for, one of us is more interested in, etc., but the idea is to balance things out so that we are equally involved. 

3. What the hell will happen to housework?


Well, that's something I've wondered too. Chris thinks we'll be able to get more done than I think we will, but both of us are hoping to still get projects done. I think we both have rose colored glasses thinking anything will get done in the first couple of weeks and months. I mean, I don't want to break the baby, let alone figure out how to use the miter saw while paying attention to her so she doesn't saw off her arm with a pullsaw I've forgotten to put away. In that way, blogging will definitely be slow in the beginning as we try to get a handle on how to take care of a new little human being, so I hope you all will be patient and understanding. 

4. What's the day-job plan once Cashew enters the picture?


The lucky thing about working for yourself is that you make your own schedule. With the exception of working A's games, my other work is very flexible and I get to set my own hours. If I have a weird night of sleep and wake up at 4:45am, I can do a couple billable hours before Chris wakes up and go take a nap when I get tired at 9am. And I've still gotten work done. And because of my schedule, I'll be the primary caretaker of Miss Cashew. I'll also not really get much of a maternity leave. I'll take 2 months off from the A's, but work for my brother, a restaurant bathroom redesign, research for my step dad's law firm, handyman/design work, etc. will just have to really slow down, but it will still be there. Luckily one of my boss' is my brother, so he's easier to tell to shove it if he wants me to do too much and I'm tired :) but I definitely don't want to let clients down (including my brother). There is of course a supreme level of understanding from them as they know, HELLO, YOU JUST HAD A BABY, but I really don't want to let them down. I committed to jobs and so I want to see them through. And the downside of working for yourself is your maternity leave is really only as long as you can afford because I can't give myself 3 months pay if I'm not actually doing billable work. Once "maternity leave" ends, I'll try to get into the slower swing of things while also taking care of a baby. I obviously won't get nearly as much done, I'll have to do more work at night after Chris is home and he can watch her so I can be productive, and family members are already on the list for baby sitting on a given day during the week so that I can try to make those my super productive days. It'll all be trial and error, but I'm hoping it'll work out at least somewhat successfully. And it's always been really important to me to maintain my own independence on top of also being a mom, so hopefully I can find that balance.

And of course, here's your much desired 39 week pregnant picture. I'm about ready to pop


I promise when Chris took this crappy cell phone pic last night I was meaning to make a big dumb smile and not look like I'm trying to push my baby out already. 

9 comments:

priscilla said...

You look great. So happy for you.

I hope Chris (or you) post when Cashew makes her debut.

meryl rose said...

Thanks Priscilla! And OF COURSE we'll share as soon as our little lady makes her debut :)

Kathie said...

You look beautiful!

I worked up until the day I had my son. I actually spent all day at work having contractions and I didn't realize it because my contractions just presented as my having to pee more. Go figure. Imagine my suprise that night at my doc's office when he was like, "Are you ready to have a baby?" ha. Very funny.

As far as getting projects done. It was way easier when our son was teeny vs now when he's 3. When he was small I could throw him in his swing or his bouncy chair and he was perfectly happy. Now that he's all mobile and wants to "help" it's a lot harder to get stuff done. He's developed a particular fascination with my sewing machine lately.

Enjoy it. I look around and go, "Holy shit, how did this kid become a real person?" :D

Heather said...

You will never run out of house projects, sad but true. You look great!

meryl rose said...

Lol, Kathie, that is awesome :) And yes, I'm also a little nervous when she wants to "help" with projects...that may get a little difficult :)

Thanks Heather! :) And it is probably true, I'll always have Chris and I build something ;)

Bungalow13 said...

Love all the co-parenting:) I'm due with #2 in less than 2 weeks and co-parenting is awesome....I don't know how people do it any other way as parenting is tough and you really need someone to be right in there with you at all times!
Best of luck!

meryl rose said...

Thanks! And congrats on Baby #2! Our babies will be virtual buddies :)

Jim said...

Hey Meryl, It's Jimmy. I guess I'm kinda like the absentee uncle that you've only got to meet once and never got to talk to but only heard amazing things about, lol. Anyhow, I just want to say I just read your blog for the first time and I'm an instant fan. If your parents are any indication of the kind of mother you will be then you are going to be fantastic at it. What are you going to write about? Your about to have a kid and that should give you plenty of material. As for parenting roles since I'm a guy and a gay parent and now a gay grandparent, let me just say that the roles have a way of working themselves out as you already have surmised. I so appreciate what you had to say about dads and moms and their respective roles. Moms get taken for granted a lot. Since I kind of played mom to my boys I found it very interesting that it seems to happen regardless of the sex of the parent so it seems to be more about the role. The boys always took more advantage of me then they did their other dad. Then again maybe it's the nature of boys, lol. Anyhow, I wish you and your hubby all the best. I can't wait to share grandparent stories with your mom since we didn't get to share parenting stories when you and your brother were growing up. Lastly, since I'm writing a book here, I just want to say how proud your mom is, as I'm sure you know, but how proud everyone is of the awesome things you are doing. All a parent can hope for is that their child be happy and successful as a grown up human and you are doing both. It is a thrill for me as well to see the child of one of my oldest and dearest friends living the dream. Rock on my dear! Rock on!

meryl rose said...

Oh my gosh Jimmy, your comment made me cry, thank you so much!

And very interesting perspective about "mom" and "dad" roles having a way of finding the same path regardless of what parents the children have. I'm hoping that Chris and I can be equal parents and try to bend those ideas :)

Thank you so much for all of the wonderful things you had to say. I am very lucky to have wonderful examples of what great, amazing parents are. I'm sure they will regret how awesome they were as parents soon though because in a matter of days I will be calling them ALL THE TIME for advice :)