Zoe is one month old tomorrow, my how time flies :) Yesterday I was thinking about how much I've learned about Zoe and myself in this last month.
1. I get less frustrated
I get easily frustrated, especially when things don't go according to plan. My parents (and Chris) can support this with many instances of my being annoyed. However, sometimes you just can't control shit. Like when you're trying to load your crying baby into the car while also calling a restaurant for a takeout order. That scenario would have made me fly off the handle several weeks ago, but when it happened a couple days ago, I realized there was nothing I could do about it, so I should just hope the restaurant heard my order correctly. It's kind of nice to not sweat the small stuff anymore. Well, not sweat it as much, Bad drivers still really bother me and I don't think I'll ever get over that one.
2. I have become one of those people
I think Zoe is developmentally amazing and think that she does the funniest things. She's also the cutest baby ever. I am one of those annoying people that think they're baby is better than every other one. But she is :)
3. I am just as opinionated as I thought
Zoe is only a month old, but when people start talking about kids and parenting I already have many opinions. What carrier is best, what diapers do you like, what helps get your baby to sleep. In 4 weeks I think I know my shit. Clearly I'm annoying.
4. I don't know shit
Well, that's not entirely true, I know some things, but I also know that I don't really know much. I know enough to get me by right now. I know enough about my baby to help us today, but tomorrow could be an entirely different story. What got her to calm down today may not work tomorrow. She may get a cold tomorrow and I won't know what to do. She had blood in her stool earlier this week and I was terrified. Chris and I had no idea what it meant and what to do (and she was and is totally okay). Tomorrow will be another adventure and I'll learn something else.
5. I will never judge a crying baby again
I used to get really annoyed at restaurants, grocery stores, the post office, etc. whenever I heard a crying baby. I didn't understand why that parent couldn't make them be quiet. Ohhhhh boy did I have a lot to learn. Now I know that sometimes there is just about nothing you can do, your baby just needs to cry and it will all be okay. I'll hear it now, think, "Oh, I feel awful for them, I hope they don't think I'm annoyed," and then I just tune it out. A crying baby isn't so bad.
6. It's easy to have rose colored glasses, but it will not be rosey
Chris and I definitely had rose colored glasses when we were pregnant. Your baby is fussy? You have problems sleeping? Phfff, that won't happen to us. Ummm, yes it did. I have no idea why we thought we would never encounter a problem or a frustration or thought that we would know it all. We'd never had a baby so why the hell did we think we'd be so good at it right off the bat? Zoe is overall a good baby, but that doesn't mean we don't get frustrated and don't have problems sometimes. Because EVERYONE does. Even if you think you won't
7. I'm glad that we can still maintain a bit of normalcy
Normal for us means running errands, watching movies at night, getting housework done, etc. Those things have all slowed down a lot, but they are still there. We've taken her on a day of errands, we've taken her out to eat with us, we worked on the laundry room floor while she took a nap...we just have to know what works for us. Going "out to eat" meant spending 10 minutes eating a hamburger and then leaving. It was still exciting :) A trip to HD is much more planned out so we don't spend forever inside. We watch movies at night, but I might not remember them as much because time is spent playing with her. We can still fit it all in, just in smaller bursts
8. I have learned what being really efficient means
This sorta goes along with the last one, but I have really learned what being efficient means. I used to think I was a pretty efficient person and thought I could get a lot done, but now? Zoe needs to eat in 20 minutes? Well, she's content attached to me in her carrier right now, what can I run around and get done in the next 20 minutes before she wakes up? A LOT. I've learned to get done what I can when she's napping and content and then spend all the time I want playing with her.
9. I love my baby, and I didn't know I could love her so much
Everyone says that, but it's true. When she first came out it was such a relief that she was safe and hearing her cry was so surreal - I was a mom now. Having her here, seeing her learn, feeding her, cuddling her and just staring at her when she's sleeping - every day I fall more in love with her. It's really quite annoying how much I love my baby. She's awesome.
10. I love Chris even more than I thought
This experience has made me learn a lot about our relationship. I already knew we were a good team, but it has really brought us closer. Going through the craziness of giving birth to her was an amazing life changing and intimate experience that I will never forget. Chris was amazing and his strength made me love him even more. And now that Zoe is here my heart melts every time I see him with her. I love when he gives her kisses, when he talks to her, when she looks up at him, when he holds her and when he loves her :) He is already such a good dad and he has always been a great partner. I really lucked out with that guy I tell you.