12.06.2013

Timeout

I've had a rough last couple of weeks. I'm stressed, I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I'm exhausted. I have always loved blogging and while I've never really known what it was for, I always did it. I started to do it for my family so they could stay updated on things going on, but to tell you the truth, not much of my family actually reads it. Then I started getting excited that "strangers" were reading it after I wrote this post. I was fascinated that people I didn't even know had found their way to my blog and were reading it. And it made me excited.

Since then I've been writing for myself and you. It is wonderful to get to share our renovation with people who actually care what we're doing. People who are interested. People who give you advice. And people that share in your dilemmas and triumphs. It is a wonderful little strange community that I feel so lucky to get to be a part of. And then Zoe came. And it's been so exciting that people I don't know in real life are so willing to share their own lives and give advice and become part of another small community.

I always knew that renovating was hard work. Parenting was hard work. Having multiple jobs was hard work. Starting your own business was hard work. But Chris and I have pressed on as hard as we could. And just recently blogging had started some pretty cool adventures. Almost 4 years after I started blogging we got to go on the Renovation Roadtrip, we got an article on the front page of the SF Chronicle, we've been featured on Bobvila.com and just a couple weeks ago someone from HGTV reached out to us (which was fucking awesome). We've had companies write to us to review their products or give us things and we've always tried to keep things as authentic as possible along the way.

But I'm starting to get tired. And sad. I feel like I'm not devoting enough time to myself, Zoe, Chris, my jobs, this blog...it gives me anxiety just thinking about all of it. The hardest part is realizing that when I don't blog, I lose readers. That kind of sucks. And I realize that I shouldn't care at all and that I blog for myself, but it also makes me feel like a little bit of a blogging failure to know that because our life is so busy and we haven't had time to work on the house that all the blogging I have worked up to is starting to dwindle.

I realize that makes me sound incredibly ungrateful for the many, many of you who cheer me on every single day, who ask for advice, and who email me. Some of you I've even been so lucky enough to meet in real life. The truth of the matter is in a strange (but I promise not creepy) way, I love all of you people so much for sharing your lives, tips, memories and ears. Or, I guess actually your eyes :) I feel so lucky to have found a group of you who swear like me, complain like me, cheer like me and I must say: you are just flat out awesome.

But I must be honest with you awesome readers: I need a break. I'm not sure how long. But it's time for me to recharge. For the last 4 1/2 years I've blogged at least 4 times a week, nearly every week. During that time I've gone to school full time, had as many as 5 jobs at a time, been pregnant, had a baby, started a business, and various other endeavors. I've never wanted to be a quitter or admit that I've taken on more than I can handle. But, I think I have taken on more than I can handle. And, for a little while I have to hit the reset button. I don't know if that will take 1 day, 1 week or 1 month. But it will take some time. I'm not sure if I'll return to the same frequency either. I know that some of you won't stick around and I'm okay with that. I started this blog to share my thoughts without ever realizing that there would be more than 5 people listening to them. So it's okay if you find yourself somewhere else. To those of you who do stick around: thank you for always virtually being here for me. I truly do get a big fat smile on my face whenever I get a comment, email or read something that you too have written that hits so close to home. You are amazing.

And one last thing before I go: happy 6 month birthday to my wonderful little daughter Zoe. It's time I spend more time with you not stressed out and overwhelmed. I love you my babbling, toe grabbing, rolly polly, little beautiful, smart and determined stinker. You are the best thing there is




24 comments:

Michelle said...

Good for you! As a mom of four with many various endeavors over the years, I completely understand. I will leave you in my feeder and look forward to the day you pop up again. Take care!

Cheryl Brodzinsky said...

I started reading your blog after the article in the Chronicle, and I've really enjoyed it! I won't delete you from my reader, so I won't miss anything when you decide to come back. I hope your hiatus is refreshing, and you get to spend more quality time with the cutie.
PS I love that onesie!

Kathi said...

I'll miss seeing your blog as often, but totally get it. I will continue to keep ya in my Reader so I don't miss when you decide to return.

LOVE the pics of Zoe - her smirk is adorable.

Gene Anderson said...

Enjoy the break! Maybe see you in real life again here in #Oakland :-)

Emily said...

Blog when you want to, not because you "have to." I think saying you "have to" blog X times per week is too much. Do what you enjoy and not more. Focus on the baby, the relationship, the business, and the house. When you have a few minutes, let us know how it's going.
:)

Deb said...

Um, you'll send me updates and pictures of Zoe, right? ;) Take some time to enjoy your family - the years fly by way too fast and life is too short to be stressed out all time. Merry Christmas!!!

Katy said...

Good for you, girlie. I have to tell you I was completely scratch-my-head freaking STUNNED at the pace you were keeping up. (See: my blog - 5 posts in the ALMOST A YEAR since Matilda was born.) You need to take care of your beautiful family and YOURSELF! Smooch that little Zoester for me.

rosedel said...

No, wait, wait, I just found you! Nah, I get it BUT at some point it would be good to see pics of the Christmas decorations outside and the inside of the nook. I don't even know what the hell a "reader" is but
I'll click on the bookmark for your blog every week or so to see if you are back. Enjoy that baby! That is most important. No one ever said "Gee, I wish I had painted the walls more often."

Deb said...

Yay for you! Breaks are good and you're going to be even more busy keeping up with Zoe as she crawls, walks and runs. We're not going anywhere...LOVE that dimple on the sweetie pie - don't think I've really seen it before. She's too cute for words!! Take care of yourself and your family - they're your first, last, and always priority!

rosebud said...

It's about time! Jeez, the pace you and Chris were going at was exhausting to read. I loved all the detail information you gave and quite frankly thought you and Chris are a wonderful team. I have always loved, loved tools, and like seeing how you used new gadgets to create all your works of art throughout the house.
Since you mentioned your vocabulary I will just add this: I used to have a mouth like a trucker too and I know of lots of other women of my era did as well. I was your age in the '70's had no woman role model in the construction industry and thought I had to talk like the guys to fit in and more importantly, for them to respect me. Embarrassing aside: I had to practice saying it to get the right inflection because it was never used by my parents, or lets just say I never heard it spoken out loud. And practice does make perfect :) Wasn't always proud of it and it got to be a habit. I used it as a noun, adjective, verb, exclamation or a handy fill in word when stumped. I am lucky my kid's first word wasn't the F-word. When cutie pie Zoe there speaks her first word you want it to be Mama or Dada not F@#$. (well unless you are filming Modern Family). Believe me I'm still not cured of the habit.
Take time to be a family and dig that baby girl as she is growing sooo fast, but you already know that . But one last request before you go...pleaseeee pleaseee we need pictures of your house all decorated at night. Enjoy life...You have created one fine blog and there is another one around the corner in your future! I just know it.

Cheryl said...

Gonna miss you - but you've got to take care of you and your family first.

I don't delete someone from my RSS feed until at least 1 year of inactivity - fingers crossed you'll provide an update before then.

Enjoy Zoe & Chris and all the rest of your wild & wacky life!

Jamie and Eric said...

Hey! Guess it is kind of bad timing but we nominated you for a little blogger award today - the Liebster Award! Eric and I have been checking out your blog and have been really enjoying it but know the time investment and what it does to the rest of your life so we get the need for a break. Just wanted to let you know that we look forward to any future posts, even if they are short and sweet! Find out more about the award at http://www.addsomecharacter.com/liebster-award/.

RTBoyce said...

Meryl, you have such incredibly high standards for yourself! I read a few blogs regularly where the average is more like ONE post a week. I will certainly hang in there for you as you seek a good balance among the numerous things in your busy life. I hope you and your family have fun, relaxing, enjoyable holidays!

Sara @ Russet Street Reno said...

Yep, same thing happened to me. It's ok! I sometimes feel bad that I stopped, but I needed to devote more time to 'real life' stuff, you know? I feel better about my free time now, honestly. I will stop update I suppose, but not too often.

Anonymous said...

I will miss your frequent posts and am sad, but totally get it and support it. Thanks for letting me know instead of just stopping. I would have worried about you. Looking forward to your next post, whenever that may be. Enjoy your timeout.
Mis

Tanya said...

You guys doing great job indeed. I'm very inspired to repair my old house through learning this energetic makeover story. Anyway Zoe is looking very cute!! Happy 6th birthday to the little one...

AZ DIY Guy said...

We'll see you on the other side! Best wishes.

Jessica said...

Enjoy your vacation! I've taken two blog vacations this year and I felt so much better after both. You're in my blog reader, so I'll be here when you come back.

Alicia said...

Do what you gotta do.

Bunny @ 86n It said...

You know I've been there.

Catch your breath. We will be here waiting for you. ;)

meeshw said...

You don't know me but I have loved your blog and have found it to be so informative and fun! I completely get where you are coming from but just wanted you to know before you went away that the time and effort that you put into everthing was appreciated and inspiring. :)
Take care!

G said...

Good for you!! take your time, like someone else said, we're not going anywhere!! Will miss the monthly pics of lil miss zoe though so please keep taking them (even if you don't have time to post them) and update us when you come back!!

Anonymous said...

Support and understand your decision.
Be aware that seasonal affective depression may be layering itself on top of fatigue and overload.
Taking care of yourself and family needs to come first. Best wishes and thanks for all the great posts!

Melanie said...

Been meaning to comment since I read this but 2 kids under 2 = no time. Just wanted to say that I'll miss your posts but I totally understand. You have a lot of balls in the air and you seem to handle it all so well. I think you provide a realistic representation of what home improvement with kids, jobs and a life looks like and that's why I love your blog so much.

You won't lose me as a reader. Hope you come back soon. And if you don't, then that's fine too, but maybe some random picture of Zoe, mkay?