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This little nugget was spoken by husband just the other night. And while it’s a bit of an exaggeration, let me say that it is, for the most part, true. They won’t think you’re cool, they won’t want to be seen in public with you, everything you do will be completely unfair, you’ll be “SO annoying” and will be voted “The worst parents EVER” by everyone under the age of 18 in your household. And that’s Ok – because eventually they will grow up, regain their sanity and become pleasant people again. We hope. (And those of you with sweet little babies who coo and blow bubbles and are generally the most adorable things ever right now are reading this and thinking I’m crazy because your child will NOT be like this. And I totally get it – because I once felt that way too).
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This is for many reasons. You have to be on the same page because one day your children will gang up on you (if you have more than one) or use the “divide and conquer” tactic (which works for one child or multiple children). It’s surprising how instinctive this is for kids. If you are a united front, they eventually realize they aren’t going to be able to change your mind. (And when they whine uncontrollably for hours after realizing this, you can always send them to their room. So there’s that.) My husband is my rock, my defender and my shoulder to cry on when things get bad. I have two girls – THINGS GET BAD. You can’t have three hormonal women in the same house and not expect that there will be screaming, crying and things randomly flying across the room. But Brian always has my back – and my girls know it.
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I wish someone had told me this when I was a new mom. Let’s face it – moms can be “judge-y” of each other (something that REALLY pisses me off the older I get) and new moms often look to women who already have children for advice. You can be the most independent, confident woman in the world – until someone puts a baby in your arms and you realize that it’s YOUR responsibility to raise that baby to become a productive, loving, successful person – and suddenly you are plagued by doubts and insecurities. A lot of things that I did or didn’t do when Olivia was a baby or young toddler were due to my total fear of doing something wrong and letting others influence me based on their style of parenting. DO NOT DO THIS. One of my biggest regrets as a parent is not following my own instincts. Nothing earth shattering, mind you, but little things that I look back on and just cringe. I’m much more confident now and have distanced myself from some of those people who questioned my parenting decisions and made me doubt myself. The only people who matter when it comes to raising your children are you and your partner. Period. Grandparents and friends are great resources and support, but ultimately, you know what’s best for your child. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise.
*I love sharing other people’s opinions, so if you’re interested in guest posting on Adopted Family Friday, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org!
Meryl – I love that I'm such a crazy busy person (loser) this week that you went and got your own pictures – LOL! I'm sorry! Cheer season and evening work related hearings are kicking my butt!
Thanks for allowing me the chance to spew my thoughts to a very captive audience (in my MIND everyone is held captive by my genius, so if anyone tells you I'm full of it or rolls their eyes at my words, feel free to keep that to yourself, MmmmmK?) 😉
Love this! I'm a g-ma now – my 3 kids are now 34,30 and 27. "Don't try to do it all", "Relax" and having plenty of cocktails available are perfect!
meryl rose says
The Debs! 🙂
I definitely need to take your advice this week Deb. I was reading the post to my mom last night and she agreed on every one. Smart ladies 🙂
Good to know the Debs agree 🙂